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You deserve SO MUCH FUN as a parent. These are my top 4 tips so you can have MORE FUN.
1.) Get more sleep:
As someone who's worked overnights in the hospital for years, I can tell you, it's so much harder to have fun as a parent when you're tired.
Everything is harder. You take the things your kids do more personally. You feel more resentful. You start to feel like the world is out to get you. Your sense of humor becomes crap.
That's not fun.
Take that nap. Go to bed earlier. Stop working so many nights. Trust me.
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2.) Find a hobby, make time for it, and then make even more time for it:
YOU WERE FABULOUS BEFORE YOU HAD KIDS. YOU STILL ARE.
You were interesting, and fun, and talented.
You still are. It's just harder to believe it now, because your life seems to have shrunk around your child.
You are either taking care of your child, thinking about taking care of your child, cleaning your house, or thinking about cleaning your house. Stop it.
You deserve to have hobbies, and interests, and friends, and things you do ONLY FOR YOURSELF.
So do it already. Find a hobby, make some time for it, and then make even more time for it.
Your kids are watching--you are their model--show them how great it is to be an adult and indulge yourself in things you like to do.
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3.) Let more things go:
The next time you are tempted to say no--unless it's a safety issue--let it go. Is it really that important? Is it worth a battle?
The next time you are tempted to criticize your own parenting--unless it's a safety issue--give yourself a pass. Is it really that important? Is it worth feeling guilty when you are such a caring, conscientious parent 99% of the time?
Your value is a parent is not based on what you do for your family. Or on some weird standard of parental perfection. You are inherently valuable just as you are.
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4.) Support and compliment your spouse/partner/coparents parenting:
I know, I know. They don't parent the way you do.
Sometimes they do it with less grace, or efficiency, or tidiness. I know.
But there still must be something you could acknowledge them for. You know how coaches give a "most improved player" award--there's great psychology around lifting someone up when their skills are still "underdeveloped." Maybe that could apply? Or just acknowledge the effort they gave?
Everyone wants to be acknowledged, and appreciated. And parenting is one of the most unacknowledged, under appreciated job there is. So a little appreciation goes a long way.
Plus compliments and acknowledgement are contagious. And they spread joy in the family.
The more you can spread the joy by acknowledging the other parent, the more likely it will come back to you.
And that's great news. Because you need some time to take that nap, and then do your hobbies. Just for you. Because you deserve it.
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Thank you for your interest,
Warmly,
Dr Ceara Deno
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